Gods and Monsters - a fragment

So...many thoughts lately...all convoluted and jumbled up, served on a platter like a plate of poorly scrambled eggs (shells and all)...sometimes my mind just self-entertains and I like to sit back and watch my own internal mono-drama-logues unfold. I got an email from Matt the other day...Matt who is my "soular" ambassador, the one who always prods me to focus on the inner light, the core of enlightment, the seat of the soul, you know what I'm talking about...the ME in me. The last time Matt came around was the last time I practiced energy channeling, the last time I chanted like we used to do in the Tunnel, that underpass in Irvine where we'd sing our overtones and scare away all dogwalkers and jumpsuits straight out of a scene in the O.C. So weird, seems like a parallel universe, the me singing mantras to a harmonium and the me sitting here covertly typing away in my little "corporate" cave, skiving on the work I should be doing. Alright, time for some beautiful Hawaiian skies to take the edge off...(picture courtesy of my big-hearted buddy BLU)


But that's the thing...the day to day life I lead now doesn't really make a lot of room for the chanting of mantras, does it? And so those mantra muscles atrophy, until someone like Matt comes around and reminds me through his cheerful emails...knock knock knock, hey you, looked inward lately? Matt and I had this whole plan, we did...of using music to communicate to one another from the O.C. to Hong Kong, yes I know it sounds crazy but hey, I'm not one to deny my own penchant towards weirdness. It was those hours in the Tunnel though, that I'll never forget as such an important part of my self education, my contention with the gods we have to choose from in this wide world of religions and theories and spiritual guides, you name it. Exploring the tools for purging the monsters within us: will it be energy channeling? yoga and meditation? Tarot card readings? Occult practices? Yikes, ok maybe not the last one. For me, the primary means for inviting more peace into my life was through reading…hehehe, big surprise coming from me.

Matt was the one to lead me to read a book that made so much sense to me that it was as close to “enlightenment” as I’ve ever come. The book is Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch and as much as I’m sure many would say his claim of being dictated to by God is preposterous, well, I guess somehow I just was able to suspend my disbelief, get past what seems implausible and benefit from a lot of the explanations and theories provided therein…some would call this a leap of faith, I suppose, and yes it does seem like one. Feelings are the language of the soul; the opposite of love is fear; what would Love do now?; every soul must walk its path – I guess I could go on and on about the points that resonated in me from the pages of this book. I believe Walsch has since reached some sort of cult status worldwide now, but cult-related or not, “Conversations” helped me through one of the toughest times in my life and still guides me to this day.

It’s been more than two years since I’ve read it…hmm…may be a good time to pick it up again, review some of those basics that brought me such peace in a time of need, see how my mind would process it now after two more years of random experiences and emotions. Maybe I’ll even start singing mantras again…Matt, be prepared to break out your harmonium! :)